


This Doesn't Feel Right

by WinchesterWarrenSon



Series: Battle Scars Series [5]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Developmentally Disabled Son Goku, Disabled Character, F/M, M/M, relationship break-up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 19:05:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3392840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchesterWarrenSon/pseuds/WinchesterWarrenSon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connected to "Let Go." Goku is back with Chichi, but things aren't back to normal because sometimes ignorance is bliss, and sometimes ignorance ruins everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Doesn't Feel Right

Home didn’t feel like home anymore. Grandpa’s home - the one he shared with Chichi and the boys - looked the same, but it didn’t feel the same. Goku didn’t really know why, but maybe it had to do with the nagging feeling in his chest that he wasn’t supposed to be here. Or that he was supposed to be here somewhere else.

But there was another feeling that he needed to stay, for Chichi. Because Chichi still looked and felt sad, and Goku couldn’t really figure out why.

Their conversation about their marriage and the few times they had had sex together (intercourse twice - hence Gohan and Goten - and very occasional stuff with hands) hadn’t seemed to fix anything. Goku himself didn’t feel like any of it had been bad. But apparently nothing he had to say about it made her feel better, and he didn’t know why.

Chichi was able to take better care of herself than Yamcha could, though. He could see that just by watching her. She moved around a lot easier and kept herself busy - almost like it was some kind of compulsion. But she wasn’t smiling, she wasn’t getting angry. And she wasn’t really telling him what was wrong.

He didn’t understand. Why was “because you wanted to and I wanted you to be happy” a bad response to “if you didn’t want to have sex, why did you agree to it?” He didn’t think it was, and it was the whole reason he even agreed to marry Chichi. She was his friend, and he wanted her to be happy. But she wasn’t…. And he didn’t think she had been very happy at all during their marriage, with him being gone a long time and dead and not dead but not at home and fighting aliens and androids….

Gohan had school so he wasn’t home much, and while Goten wasn’t in school, he had homework and flew himself to Trunks’s to play sometimes and played with the forest creatures too. And when Gohan was at home, he essentially looked after Goten while Chichi did the housework and Goku … was just there.

They were supposed to be figuring stuff out, but Goku felt like they weren’t figuring anything out at all. Just Chichi being sad over things he didn’t understand.

"Goku, when we were children, why did you pat my crotch?"

"Hm? To see if you were a boy or a girl. Why else?"

That had seemed to make the whole thing worse. But he didn’t know why.

He was tired of not understanding what was going on. With Yamcha, he’d put things in words he could understand or at least say why he couldn’t explain if he was too tired to or didn’t know the right way to phrase it. Chichi always acted like he should know what was wrong, but at least with that she was usually angry. Now, she was just … moving around the house like some kind of ghost. It wasn’t right.

Goku stood up from the chair he was in as he was watching her do her kitchen chores, then walked up to her and gently grabbed her arm.

Chichi looked up at him, looking even older than she was with the sadness that was there in her eyes.

"Goku?"

"Me being here isn’t fixing anything. Is it?"

Her eyes widened, and Goku could only assume that she was taken aback by the question.

"All I seem to ever do is make you angry and sad, and the last time I remember seeing you smile was too long ago," Goku continued. "I agreed to marry you because it made you happy. But it’s not anymore."

Chichi frowned, but she set the dishes down and turned to face him better.

"You’re right. I’m not."

Goku nodded. Then Chichi continued.

"And things are easier for Yamcha when you’re with him, right?"

Goku nodded again, a little surprised Yamcha was being brought up at all.

"And it’s not just his leg. Is it?"

Goku shook his head, wondering how she had guessed that.

"Do you love him? Differently from me?"

Goku blinked repeatedly, then furrowed his eyebrows as he gave it some thought.

"I … don’t really think of love any differently depending on the person. I love you and our friends and family the same, I guess…. But it … gathers in different places I guess."

Chichi raised an eyebrow, confused, and Goku tried to explain it better.

"Or not places, but … . I dunno. You’re all my friends, and I’d do anything for any of you…. Things are just … easier to understand when I’m with Yamcha. I don’t have to guess as much and he knows what to ask me to see if I know what’s going on or why something is hard…. There’s less fuzziness in my brain and more warmth in my chest."

Speaking of fuzzy brain, just trying to put it into words was making his head get that feeling, and it occurred to Goku that it actually hurt a lot. Maybe he had been running away from his problems whenever he’d get that fuzzy feeling before….

"I see," Chichi said, and Goku blinked, rather in awe at how easily Chichi seemed to get what he was talking about. She always had been smarter than him. Definitely where Gohan got his brains.

She then smiled at him. That made Goku smile back.

"In that case, I think it is better for both of us if you go back to Yamcha’s place. But don’t be a stranger, now, Gohan and Goten still need their dad to visit every now and then."

Goku nodded. “I will!”

He leaned in for a hug, and Chichi accepted it, wrapping her arms about him and squeezing tightly.

When Gohan got home, Goku was no where to be seen.

Meanwhile, Yamcha had been trying to keep himself together in Goku’s absence, but his depression and anxiety had taken it upon themselves to make life a living hell, and the leg wasn’t doing him any favors. But out of pure frustration with himself, one evening he just forced himself out of the house and forced himself into doing laps around the perimeter of the neighborhood.

It was painful and hopefully didn’t look as ugly as it felt. He ended up collapsing in the middle of the sidewalk too far from home and panted on the ground, his bad leg refusing to let him get back up again.

"Dammit…. Just … gotta … try harder … can’t … let it look … like I’m … losing it … just because … Goku isn’t here… ."

It wasn’t like Goku had even been his boyfriend or anything. He was just a friend who Yamcha was falling hard for, but that didn’t mean he had to be his depression’s bitch over him leaving….

Goku would want him to try.

"Yamcha, are you okay?!"

Yamcha’s eyes widened as he heard the voice and heard the footsteps hurry to him and the face come into view as Goku knelt down near him.

"G-goku?"

Goku’s face was painted with worry, and Yamcha knew he personally looked like a gaping fish.

"What’re you doing here?" Yamcha asked.

Goku helped Yamcha off the ground, going as far as to carry Yamcha bridal style. That made Yamcha blush.

"Chichi and I agreed that we’re better off not living together," Goku said. Yamcha just stared, dumbfound, at Goku.

"So … you’re … back with … ."

Goku smiled at him. “Back with you, yeah! If you want me to be, that is.”

"Of course I want you!" Yamcha blurted out without thinking, then prompty turned a bright shade of red. Goku laughed.

"C’mon, let’s get you home."


End file.
